Santa on the run

Thousands of Santas were run out of towns across the globe this season, when the public common sense and intellectual brigade finally toppled the commercial holiday movement. In an unprecedented windfall, all major corporations donated money allocated for advertising and executing Xmas sales to charities deemed legitimate by the Better Business Bureau. As a result, this is the first December on record that no individual can be found without secure housing, heat, and food for the winter. Individuals opting to observe the gift exchange tradition opted only for goods made by themselves with materials native to their locale, and the majority presented recipients with intangible creative works. The absence of garbage generated by packaging left garbage services with an unexpected cumulative expanse of land, which was donated to the Green Party to use as they see fit.

Happy holidays. Be mighty merry.