bad night at the gym

Cold Marriage

On these platforms,
we come together
to battle ourselves,
united in solitary pursuit of a common vision.
A nod, a look, a short word
is all it takes
to gauge just where the man beside you is on the battlefield.

We can understand each other,
We can see what it is,
but no one can lift the bar for another.
Each man must fight alone.

Today I lost the battle.
Alone at night I brew tea
and stew in the depths of doubt
and frustration.
My legs
move stiffly,
knees seizing with each step.
Blood red pool aches across my thigh.

Casualties, not honor.
The marks of the body
testifying to me that
I am not fighting well.
Today I lost ground.

And I harbor blame
on this body
which did not obey
which did not listen
which failed me today.

Tomorrow we will work
on finding each other again,
my body and mind.

But tonight we are sullen
in a cold marriage,
trapped together another night
in a bed that’s too small.