Reflecting on mortality

It's not because I just turned a year older, but age and mortality in the face of pushing the physical life keeps coming up lately. I was just talking with a co-worker about our boss, who's over 60, who needs to exercise. My co-worker, more than 10 years my senior, said to me, "You and I just do it, cuz we're stupid."

I've been pushing it hard lately in the gym, and I messed up my knees. Last night I went home for the second night in a week and went straight to the tub to soak my knees in an Epsom salt bath. I took fish oil and glucosamine by the handful; reluctantly popped a few more ibuprophen, and iced my knees in front of Curb Your Enthusiasm. By bedtime, like any thinking American resembling my demographic, I had Googled enough about knee pain to scare myself silly, and went to bed trying to remain calm and assure myself that my knees will recover in a few days. When I told my coach about my knee pain last week, he said, "You know what that means. Old ass beyoch." I said I don't think that's what it means. (I'm pretty sure it is from pulling off the blocks and dropping it hard on my thighs. That's what the bruises indicate. I will be more careful.)

My father is about to turn 75. I asked him, in his sagacity, what his advice is for the rest of us. He said, "Don't get sick."

An article about a 90-year-old bodybuilder went around recently. He took it up in his 80s. His attitude is, it's not about chasing youth; it's about health.

I don't have any big moral or bottomline to this spiel at the moment. I know it can only be to keep pushing, be smart about it, make adjustments; your health is all you've really got, and everything depends on it. Being fit beats the alternative. I don't feel like making a big production about that message, as it's already been before - over and over - probably since the dawn of man.

People use their age as an excuse to be lazy far too often. It's not that I deny I'm aging, I just don't see it causing problems yet. There are too many inspirational examples for me not to be confident and inspired, and I plan on becoming one of them. Hell, I got carded on the plane while buying booze on a flight back home for my 40th birthday, and the woman was dead serious about it. How many people can say that? I'm aware of biological processes and mortality, but I see no need to dwell on it. That kind of thinking can only slow you down. I enjoy being mature; it has a lot of advantages. I'm still a bad ass.

But the idea of injury scares me. A lot. I am only recently feeling fully recovered after being hit by a truck over a year ago. I am hyper aware that the awesome feeling of being strong me is only one incident away from being gone. I am so aware of how wrong things could go at any moment that I think I could excel in selling insurance or a becoming agoraphobic. There's not much to do about it, because it's true. I don't think there's a big moral to be had on this one, even if I were in the mind to soapbox. Just be careful and try not to let it overshadow living life.

So, cheers everyone, you're a little older today than you have been your entire life. You could become injured or sick or be taken out of the picture altogether at any moment. I hope you'll join me and "be here now," take advantage of everything you have going for you in this moment, and keep moving, keep pushing. Don't listen to anyone who tries to hold you back. This is your shot.

Old age is no place for sissies.
- Bette Davis

Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.
- Samuel Ullman